Ikar: Eat a big bagel, bust out your tallis, and get ready to daven, bitches

You know you’ve heard about Ikar, and if you haven’t, then you better pretend that you have when you’re hangin’ with the hip Jews. According to its website, Ikar is “not your Bubbe’s temple,” and word on the street is that this ‘gogue is the ish. Its reputation for social and environmental activism and beachside services led us to expect a hemp-wearing crunchy granola crowd and a service light on the Hebrew and heavy on the Eastern philosophy. Instead, we found that we were the remedial Jews in a room full of surprisingly knowledgeable and deeply spiritual congregants. The crowd (probably 150 souls throughout the morning) was by far the most diverse we have ever seen in synagogue: young families, multiracial adopted children, hippies, hipsters, people of color, teens, and enough lesbians to fill an Ani DiFranco concert.

Although this was the biggest Shabbat crowd we’ve encountered so far, the service was surprisingly intimate and personal. It was led by two thoughtful, passionate young female rabbis, both with sweet singing voices and a gift for poignancy.  Accompanied by bongo drums, the crowd swayed, moaned, hummed, clapped, stomped, and shook what Hashem gave them.  The service included seven aliyot which were very touching.  And very long.  Ikar’s three-hour Saturday morning service is for Shabbat heavyweights only.

Note: If they pass around mid-morning “snacks” during services, don’t eat them. We thought we were getting a complimentary sugar boost to revitalize us two hours into the service, but it turns out those Sunkists were supposed to be thrown at a bride and groom. Oops.  Mazel tov to the cute couple, but boo for the snack tease.

Chai-lights
1. Pretzel challah with mustard!
2. Lots of extracurricular activities offered for you to deepen your Jewish knowledge (or to find your Jewish husband).
3. Unlimited coffee and tea all morning (Thank Gawd).

Kvetches
1. Long ass service.  We felt spiritual enough after the first hour and a half.
2. Sunkist snack tease. Bring a granola bar.
3. We can only think of two kvetches, making the total bagel count...

Total Bagels:
FIVE OUT OF FIVE!!